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1. A lecture about English

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. “In English,” he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.”

A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”
Learning English through short ESL funny stories

2. A Talking Frog

An old gentleman was playing a round of golf. Suddenly his ball sliced and landed in a shallow pond. As he was attempting to retrieve the ball he discovered a frog who, to his great surprise, started to speak! “Kiss me, and I will change into a beautiful princess, and I will be yours for a week.” He picked up the frog and placed it in his pocket. As he continued to play golf, the frog repeated its message. “Kiss me, and I will change into a beautiful princess, and I will be yours for a whole month!” The man continued to play his golf game and once again the frog spoke out. “Kiss me,and I will change into a beautiful princess, and I will be yours for a whole year!” Finally, the old man turned to the frog and exclaimed, “At my age, I’d rather have a talking frog!”

3. A Wife’s Duty

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup , the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He told her, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress . If you don’t do the following , your husband will surely die…Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant , and make sure he is in a good mood . For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don’t burden him with chores , as he probably had a hard day. Don’t discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse . And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim . If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely.” On the way home, the husband asked his wife. “What did the doctor say?” She replied, “You’re going to die”!

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